I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
