I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
