I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
