Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
