Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.

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(716): View more from New York

When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?

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(928): View more from Arizona

Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.

(1-928): View more from Arizona

DO IT!

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