Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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