Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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