Soap is not a condiment
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
