sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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