i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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