he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
