Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
