it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
