Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
