I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize