OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My penis needs a shock collar
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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