Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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