why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
