Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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