.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize