I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was not drunk enough for that final.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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