idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
