When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
