chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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