i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
