That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
