we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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