Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We left the knife in your bed.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you never un-have a 4some
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
