you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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