yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
