Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
