for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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