I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize