If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
