Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize