you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
