his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
