I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
