I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
