I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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