I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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