Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm at about main and main street
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm too high and old for this...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize