in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
