dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
