My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
