neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
