Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
