we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
