I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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