I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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