No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
