I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
