I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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