come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
