How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
