Is it normal to miss your booty call?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
