Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
