you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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