So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
